


Motherless Child I am with Thee, Thou were Never Alone

by sal_paradise



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and platonic cuddling, and realize they need eachother, cause these two are literally soul mates, dale and laura take a road trip!, in a non romantic way, it's a lot of pain.. these two have so much trauma, there's hand holding!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_paradise/pseuds/sal_paradise
Summary: Post- cannon. After the end of Twin Peaks  what happens  to Laura and  Dale  and how they come to see they need  each other in a  world  they no longer belong





	Motherless Child I am with Thee, Thou were Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A post cannon look at Dale and Laura as they learn how to move on and love themselves and eachother.
> 
> Motherless child, follow my voice  
> And I shall give thee great cause to rejoice  
> Motherless child, be of good cheer  
> My arm is reached out, I am here  
> I'll crush every doubt and every fear  
> Clothesline the shame and you will answer to the rain
> 
> Wonderful wonderful, wonderful wonderful  
> Motherless child I am with thee, thou wast never alone  
> Maybe I'm dirty, maybe I'm unworthy  
> Motherless child, can you hear me? I will give you a home  
> Wonderful wonderful, wonderful wonderful  
> Motherless child I am with thee, thou wast never alone  
> Maybe I'm dirty, maybe I'm unworthy  
> Motherless child, can you hear me? I will give you a home  
> You were never alone~ wonderful, wonderful- The Killers

 

He couldn't stop the  tremble that  ran rampant through his hand. As the words that  ran through his mind from the letter.

 

Linda.

 

Linda.

 

Who the  hell was Linda?  Who the hell was Richard for that matter?  Was he  Richard?  No...no that  didn’t feel right.

 

He  didn't  feel like  himself, like he  was pretending to be something he  wasn’t.  His  skin felt  wrong. Like  he  was  wearing an ill  fitting suit.

 

This was wrong… but  something in  the back of  his mind was telling him it  didn't  have  to stay this  way, He  needed to find something.. Someone?

 

Well it was better than  nothing. Putting the car in  drive he drove  away from the motel -he swore it only had one floor the night before-hoping to find answers further down the road

Xxxx

He didn't  know much about his here and now, all he knew he had been in Odessa for a  few  hours  and  already someone  had  referred to it as  “Slow-deatha”

 

He  had to chuckle at  that.

 

As he consumed another  cup of coffee and   stared out the  window  of Judys…  waiting for a guiding thought  about how he felt like he had to be here.

 

And it  came, In the form of two thugs  who thought they could swindle and pry their  way into peoples lives.

It was easy to unarm them. And he knew, this is where he got his  answers from nervous employees

He knew where he had to go.  He just hoped  she would have the answers he needed.

Xxx

 

He’s on her doorstep. He had pulled up to small suburban home.  1516 read the  number out  front.

He’s nervous, despite himself.

her garden he notices  is a sea of  dead weeds and dust  as  he knocks on her  door and  hears shuffling behind it.

“Who is it?” a voice calls.

“FBI”  he replied.

 There’s  a pause...and then it opens in a flash

“Did you find him?” a woman asks rather instanstantly

Dale feels his breathing stop. Here she was after all this time. Laura. All grown up. She had escaped a terrible fate.

_She was alive._

He couldn’t help the smallest of smiles.

“Did you find him? She asks again.

“Laura” the  words almost slip like a wandering prayer from his lips.

She’s older. He is too. But she’s an adult. Her life didn’t end in Twin Peaks, didnt end like... That

The woman  gives him an odd look. 

“ You’ve got the wrong house mister”  she managed with a shake of her  head.

At his tone, his almost needy tone  something in her lept. She hadn't heard that name,  no one had ever confused her for a Laura…

But… there was also fear, who was this man?

She could see the beginnings of   concern on his face

“ you’re saying your not Laura Palmer?”

“Laura who?” she  replied “no I’m not her.”  something, was  bothering her about this man,  it was something she wanted to face  she began to close the door “ I’m not her-”

“Wait!  What’s  your  name?”

“Carrie Page.” It came out in a tone asking him to defy her.

“Carrie Page?”

“That’s right. Now I gotta go so-”

“Wait.”- she paused “ so the  name Laura Palmer  means nothing to you?”

She was starting to get annoyed  “I  don’t know what you want, but I’m not her.”

Still the man persisted “ your father’s name was Leland”

 _I’ll amuse him_ she thought “okay” she  replied  testily.

“ your  mother’s name is Sarah.”

Carrie paused, a chill ran up her spine she staggered slightly “ S-Sarah?”  she replied weakly she felt  something  work it way up in her  who was this  man?

“What’s going on?”

“It’s  difficult to explain.” he managed “ As strange as it sounds I think you’re a girl named Laura  Palmer and I want to take you to your mother’s  house.”

No response.

“Your home at one time… it’s very important.”

Carrie didn't know what was happening she felt like the world had suddenly turned on its axis.

“Umm… look normally somebody like you comes around and I tell them to  fuck  off. This door  would be slammed in their  face...but right now… I gotta get outta Dodge  anyway.. So riding with the FBI  might just  save my  ass… where are  we going?”

“Twin Peaks, Washington.”

“D.C.?”

“State?  
“Is it a long the way?”

“It’s a ways away.”

“Let me get my things. Come on in.” Despite herself, she was willing to try.

  


Xxxx

She was on the road.

Carrie had always dreamed of leaving Slow-deatha. Apparently her parents had come from somewhere else but they never spoke of it; and after a while she got tired of asking.

She was watching Odessa fall behind them.

Good Riddance.

 

There was nothing for her there  anyways.

 

The man beside her was Dale. Dale Cooper he had told her. Though he himself seemed unsure. At first it almost  sounded like he said Richard; but no, Dale it  was. Dale was silent, they drove through the  day into the  night. Carrie didn’t mind all that much. She hated when people pretended to be who they weren’t. Small talk usually drove her up the wall, but eventually she knew she would want to talk to him.

As the night  grew deeper, he pulled the car over to the side of the road, apologized that this may  happen more  than once and offered her the backseat to sleep. She declined staying in the front. Soon she was dozing, she woke only once, to find the man  Dale’s jacket  draped over her.

 

XXX

The days continued much the same, sometimes  she felt like a kid on a grand  adventure  like the Lone Ranger , outlaws, but no one was chasing them. At least nothing physical. The man Dale, was silent as ever. Sometimes  his mannerism struck her  as odd. As if… he had been away from people a long time and was relearning everything. As if he was missing something… sometimes she caught him just  staring off into the  distance at  what  she wasn’t sure. His smiles were half formed, his words  clipped; he didn't  seem to eat much, till Carrie all but  forced  french fries into his  face on the  third day saying she couldn't have him passing out at the wheel.

This got the lightest of laughs  from him.

 

She realized  despite  knowing  so little about him, that was something she needed in her life. His laughter lit her up inside.

 

They stayed in a flea bitten  motel that  night. The car  would have been better. But he  tried.  

 

She  stared at the  water spotted ceiling listening to the minutes  tick by, in the  bed  beside her the bundle that was  Dale was  restless, he was  caught in some bad  dream.  Something in her was pulled to him, she watched as his eyes moved  restlessly under their lids, as sweat dripped off his form.  She went  to wake him, where desperate dark eyes  shot open..

“Laura” he gasped

Carrie stared. The desperation in his voice pulled at her and for a second she wanted to be this Laura. If only to help him.

“It’s Carrie” you had a bad  dream.”

He untensed slightly.

“I'm sorry”

“Don't be. I'm no sleeping beauty myself.” She smiled.’ What did you dream about?

“Red. A red room... and waiting.. and..”

_You._

He wanted to say; but it wasn’t her was it?

 _Laura?_ She wanted to say; but she remained silent.

And with no answer in sight, soon they were both drifting off to sleep.

 

Xxxx

The desert was fading.

It was becoming  greener. Lusher.

They were still far from their destination.

They didn’t talk much, neither  seemed to mind.

As they listened to easy rock channel Carrie hummed along to to the songs she knew. When  one afternoon Dale asked

“Who was that man in your home?”

“Someone better off dead” she replied. She  felt the venom enter her tone. Daring him to challenge her-he didn't.

He nodded.

“Was he a bad man?”

“Bad enough “

Again a nod.

“You're FBI have you ever killed anyone?”

“Yes”

“ Bad men I assume.”

“I’ve hurt good people too.”  she didn't press him beyond that; but she noticed the slight tremble in his hand, as they stopped for food.

Xxx

Another night, another  roadside  dinner of  greasy food. At least Dale ate now, they spoke lightly about the news they had seen or read, books, etc. nothing too personal. Nothing that  might knick an artery.

Another night sleeping in the car.

 

Carrie didn't  mind,

‘This time however, when Dale woke her with his nightmares, she didn't leave him alone, She gently grabbed his hand  in hers and soothed him back to sleep, running her  fingers over scarred  knuckles until the panic passed.

They happened every night now, despite his best efforts.

 

Some days were better than others, sometimes he would drift back under on his own,  on one or two occasions he had become horribly ill and she had ran soothing hands over his shoulders as he lost his fight with his stomach.

 

After that first  night he didn’t describe his dreams at all.

She never pushed but  despite herself she worried.

She never told him she dreamed of a man in a dark suit who led through the forest when she was lost.

Xxx

Green.

Colour of beauty a  colour of  royalty.

A colour Carrie never dreamed she'd see.

She was pressed against the glass,  curious and bright as a child.

Trees.

Trees as  far as the eye  could see.

They would be in Washington tomorrow and despite herself Carrie was excited and nervous. Where would this leave  her and Dale?

“They are Douglas Firs” Dale commented

“How did you know  that?”

“An old friend told me” he commented softly as he took in the majesty as well.

 

Xxx

That night they both stretched out a bit and slept in the back of the car, Carrie listened for the signs of Dale’s panicked breathing as nightmares came. Ready to help him,  when they did- she simply wrapped her arms around him, and held him, he sank into her as if he needed it. Was deprive of it. Dale was surprised when he woke up and found himself buried in the  crook of her neck. He had never felt more at peace.

 

Xxxxx

This  was wrong.

So very wrong.

Carrie was not one to let panic win.

But  right now… it was  the case.

They had arrived at Twin Peaks and at the house Dale  had told her would have the answers.

There were no Palmers there.

Hell maybe there had never  been.

Dale kept insisting.

A Laura Palmer  had never  been there.

The door closing on the house was deafening to the both of them.

It was locking them out of a future they could have had.

They stood outside the house.

They had  come all this  way. _Now what_?

“What year is it?” Dale managed. In the short time  she had know him she had  never seen him like this. He looked lost. Utterly and hopelessly  lost as  he  staggered and stumbled  on the pavement.

Christ.

Carrie looked helplessly  at the house  they had both come to seeking salvation from.

Then she heard it, faintly on the wind.

A voice  shouting something over and  over again

**_“ Laura, laura.. Laura!”_ **

And then the dam broke.

Carrie knew that  voice.

It was the voice of Sarah Palmer. She knew she did.

Her mother.

The puzzle  pieces snapped together, the image  became clear  and the world fell apart.

And all she could do was scream. Over and over again.

The lights  flickered and went out plunging the street into darkness.

 

Dale felt like he had been  stabbed in the heart.

_No no.. he  never wanted to hear that  noise again._

He looked on. He needed to help her, save her  from getting hurt.

But he didn't.

He failed her  again.

Christ, the panic was worming it way up him from the inside out. **_Now what? Now what did they do? How do fix this?_ **

 

 **Fix the now**. A voice said. As he looked to where Carrie's last  blood curdling scream had  finally died, and with it the lights were gone.

Dale  went to her. Searching for her in the  abrupt  blindness of night, his fingers latched to hers, and  greedily hung on like he was an anchor.

But he was dragging them both down.

He brought  her to the car and placed her in the backseat, like a child,

“It will be alright.”  he lied as they sped away “It will be alright Carrie”

“Its Laura.” she mumbled  quietly  from the  back seat.

  


Xxxx

They drove aimlessly that night. Dale’s distant  demeanor seemed to shatter into a thousands pieces, his hands  shook, his shoulders  were  tense  panic and fear and confusion were flying off him.

He parked haphazardly in a wooded area and Carrie promptly all but fell out of the car. Sick.

He stood by her, in the  same way she had for him, rubbing  soothing circles on her back, till  she could only  dry heave.

She looked to Dale in the dim light cast by the stars, even to her  he looked pale, shaky- she found that he looked  as lost  as she felt.

 

“ What the hell is  going on?” she managed

 

“Carrie.-”

 

“It’s Laura. You know that Dale.” she  began her tone bitter, hurt. “Everything is coming back. I’m not Carrie. Now tell me what the hell is going on”

 

“ I thought.. I thought I fixed it. I thought this would fix it.”

 

“ Fix what?”

 

Dale shook his head.

 

“Dale, please tell me.”  the  panic she was holding at bay was  starting to crack her fragile  barriers.

Who the hell was she?

“Who the hell is Laura Palmer? What the fuck happened back there? Who the hell are you?   For that matter who the  fuck am I ?!” She couldn’t help it. She had put her  faith in a mysterious  man dressed in black. That he would show her something new. Give her something better then she had.

 

Her old life was shitty. No one would argue  that.

But it at least it was hers.

Now, she felt like she was  being torn apart. She had memories of someone else’s life  filling her head. Faces, places, pain. So much pain. Did it all belong to her?

 _Shit_.

 

“You’re  Laura Palmer” he began “ you were from here, Twin Peaks. That was your house and you died…

 

Carrie blinked.

 

She died?

 

“You were murdered. Wrapped in plastic. Left on the  beach.17 years old.” Dale  shook his  head.

“No one deserved  what happened to you.”

 

Carrie  suddenly felt cold to her core.

 

“I died? At 17? I didn't even finish high school?”

Dale frowned.

“My parents?”

 If anything. Dale looked more grim.“My friends?”

 

“Who killed me?” she managed she never thought that was  phrase she would utter, yet here she was.

 

“ Your father” Dale managed “he wasn’t...himself”

Carrie’s stomach flip flopped at the news  and acid tickled the back of her throat again.  She nodded slowly.

“You were the glue holding the town together.”

Carrie shook her head.

That was not her.

“Did you know Laura?” she managed

 

Dale was silent for a moment he wanted to express to her about the sweet but troubled girl whose diary he had read. What were her likes,  things a teenage girl should be worried about, relationships, friends, crushes, movies, books, what  school she planned to go to in her future.

Instead. She had to deal with abuse, and fighting a supernatural force without ever uttering a word to anyone, and expected to put on a brave face from one day to the next.

 

“No” he began. “I investigated her death.”

“You never met her.”

Dale shook his head.

_At least not in the waking world._

“Then why does she matter to you?” Carrie  managed her exasperation was growing.”why the hell does a teenage girl matter? Bad things  happen to teenage girls every day! What made her so special?”

 

“Because without her, things just fall apart” Dale managed  she could feel the  desperation in him, tearing at him, like he had been here before.

She was silent.

The two stood there in the moonlight, looking at each other lost. So very lost.

“What was she like?” Carrie managed “what was she like really?”

 

“She had her troubles...but in her heart she was good.” Dale managed “ she had a deep sadness in her,  a burden. She carried it with her everywhere she went and sometimes you would see it in how she cried, when she screamed. When she died, part of her loved  ones died too.”

Carrie starred, as Cooper wiped at the  tears in his eyes, “ she was so lonely.  Even surrounded by people she was so alone. I just wish someone was there to help her. Hold her hand, tell her it was going to be okay.”

“That would be a lie” Carrie managed “ things are never okay for people like her.”

“I’m sorry I thought I fixed it. That I could give her what she deserved.”

Carrie shook her head.

“Maybe this is what  we deserve.”

Dale frowned “Carrie-”

“What now?” she managed.

Dale was silent  “I don’t know” he whispered.

Carrie just gave him a disappointed look as she walked away into the depth of the night.

  


Xxxx

If the silence before was calm but  daunting it was  now unbearable.

The two had left Twin Peaks almost right away. There was nothing for them there. Not anymore.

 

That night had  been the hardest that the two had suffered through in some time. While  before  they had become accustomed to each other even seeking small comforts now it was like they were islands.

That night she slept in the back, Dale in the driver seat. She hardly stirred when he gasped awake from some nightmare she was glad to not be privy to before  promptly becoming ill. The rest of the time  she  stared at the ceiling and tried to catalogue her thoughts.

She was Laura

And Laura was her.

She died.

Wrapped in plastic.

Christ.

And the thoughts  would start again.

 

xxxx

They hardly spoke.

The greenery that  brought her joy was now fading again.Dale didn't suggest where they were going.

She didn't ask and on they rolled.

By the fifth day she couldn't stand it anymore.

She needed to get out.

Get away.

_Away from him._

Any opening up he had done on the way down was gone. He was like a machine. It creeped the fuck out of her.

They went out for dinner and  Laura  drank herself blind. Everywhere she looked she was seeing ghosts. Of people who were, people she knew.

 

Laura was all but carried out when she tried to pick a fight with a nasty customer.Dale stepped in, and despite everything got a nasty shiner for his efforts.

Laura spat venom at him in the parking lot

“Just take me back, take me, to my shit life in my shitty town, I don’t want this and I most certainly don't  want help from you!” she cried, all the pain she had been carrying firing out.

 

“Carrie…”

“Its Laura!” she cried, tears streaming down her face “ I’m not Carrie  I never was!  All this time it was just some shitty fantasy! you made me this, you ruined everything!”

 

Dale moved to comfort her.

 

“ Dont! Please  don't touch me, dont help me! You just had to make things better had to try to fix  things! Maybe- maybe somethings  don't need to be fixed!  Maybe somethings  cant be fixed!”

 

Dale regarded her sadly.

“Maybe I was supposed to die for a reason and we fucked it up by playing god! It isn't up to you. Cooper. It isn't up to you to decide who lives and who dies”

she stormed away from him, tears streaming down her face.

 

“I’m sorry” he managed but his apology was carried away on the wind.

 

Xxxxx

They stayed in the downtrodden motel for a couple days.They had nowhere  else to be.

 

Cooper's bruised eye socket morphed from black to deep purples and bright red that bled down his face like  macabre makeup.

The days that followed Laura’s blow up were quiet.

They moved around each other like dancers brushing occasionally but never speaking.

Laura had  felt horrible  the next morning.

But she also did not regret it. Still, she couldn't shake the hurt  in Dale’s expression.He was never mean to her, like so many in her life, as both Carrie and  Laura.What  got her, was  the way he looked at her sometimes, like she had all the answers in the world, like she would simply lean over and  whisper how to fix this mess  in his ear.

 

Yet.

He was all she  had. As  much as she  screamed  at him that night that she  wanted to go home, she didn’t mean Odessa.

She wanted to go home  to a place where people cared. Where she was wanted.

But that wasn’t here. That  wasn’t anywhere- for  either of them.

She sighed.

They were camping. Out in the open. She had started a fire, she didn’t even know she could do that, they had roasted sausages over the open fire. It should have been a joyous and peaceful picture, but it was tense- There was so much unsaid.

 

“I lost my mother when I was young.” Dale voice suddenly cut through the din.

Laura tensed.

“ She was taken from me, by the man who visited me in my  dreams-” Laura  shuddered despite  herself “-she  was the only thing protecting me from the things that existed out there and I couldn’t do the same for her.” Dale managed, he was broken hearted. It  was obvious it was a pain that  never faded for him.

Laura  was silent

“After she died I felt so alone. I was on my own  no matter  how many people I surrounded  myself with. I always ended up hurting them.”

Laura winced.

“I was never close with my father, despite my best  efforts...my  brother was non-existent, his only gift to me was to call me  scum when  I   went into the profession he didn’t  approve of; I grew up, joined the fbi got a real job.”

Dale smiled sadly to himself as he remembered all his memories.

 

“I fell in love. Each way more wrong than the last.some with lasting effects”

Laura couldn't  help but notice how Dale’s  hand fell to his sternum, perhaps  tracing the ghost of an old wound

“-And then I met you.”

Laura blinked.

Even with Laura’s memories on top of Carrie she didn’t- recall.-

 

“I came to Twin Peaks because of you Laura. Cause of your death.”

 

“We never actually met”

 

Dale shook his head sadly “ you were gone before I got there.”

 

Laura felt her hair stand on end.

 

This sounded so familiar.

 

So Dale regiled her with tales of Twin Peaks. What it was like.What her mother was like, Sarah.. Sarah… it sounded so familiar Laura’s mind was a mess; she knew all this information was there but she  couldn’t  quite grasp it.

 _Bobby Briggs, James Hurley, Donna_ Hayworth they  were all part of her life as Laura.

 _Her father Leland_ ,

A lot about the sheriff and the sheriff department, Harry S.Truman seemed like an important man to Cooper..

.

And what Cooper had been  through with his old partner with a grudge  came to town. Windom Earle.. When he talked about Glastonbury grove, Laura noticed how badly Dale’s hands shook.

 

“ Who was there when you got there?” she ventured

 

“ You” Dale managed and “Him” dale couldn't help how the mug rattled out of his hand.  And she picked it up

She felt a sudden chill creep up her spine. She knew by the grim expression on his face. The thing that had tortured them both. It was..

_No._

_She didn’t want to think about that.. Not anymore_

 

“What happened in the waiting room?”

 

Dale suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable.“I was there for 25 years” he managed  “ I looked for an exit but there wasn’t one. I came face to face with myself and I lost..” from the grim set of his mouth Laura knew that's all that she was likely to  hear.

 

“The good Dale is trapped in the lodge.” she muttered as if a memory called to her across time.

If possible Dale became paler than paper at those words.

 

“I waited, I tried to get out but it was all dead ends..My double was there  he told me I was no better than him and that I would  let you down as I always did.” Dale shook his head miserably

 

“ The only thing that wasn’t trying to rip me limb from limb in there was you.”- Laura blinked at him in shock _her?_ you were there, or at least a version of you...”

A part of Laura was suddenly uncomfortably  for how much  guidance he sought from her.

 

“It was you all along. You were  trying to guide me.”

He looked earnestly at her and something like  a smile graced his lips and Laura felt a warmth bloom in her at that. It was something that had been missing.

Did she maybe.. Feel the same?

 

Didn’t she know in the back of her mind for years she had  dreamt of a man like Dale,  she was lost in the dark, running through the forest, terrified and he had  come who would take her hand- and guided her.- sometimes they made it through..sometimes they didn't.. Sometimes something grabbed her away…

Sometimes she was sitting across from him in the room he described...and her face would open like a window to  another world.

She shuddered.

 

“ I needed to make things better.” He said cutting through the din of silence the flame cast  haunting ghostly shadows on his face . It's my  fault I-”

 

Laura shook her her head “Somethings are just meant to be Dale.” She muttered.“Some of us are just dealt a bad hand. Some of just… end up drowning.”

“I don’t believe that, maybe I could-”

She frowned- she felt pity tug at her  heart for the man  before her- he was so desperate to make things right...but  sometimes  there’s nothing one can do.

 

“ I seriously doubt that Dale” she managed.He looked at her surprised and hurt.

 

“ I don't think you could prevent your mother's death anymore than you could have prevented mine.”  She muttered quietly “Somethings are just meant to be.”

 

“ The death of a innocent girl? By the hands of her own father?” Dale rasped out, there was   some  form of anger there, remorse “ I would hope that-”

 

“- I dont have the answers you're looking for Dale!” Laura suddenly cried the tension that had been slowly  building up in her, creeping up like a jungle cat,  springing on her at the last minute  “ you keep looking at me like I’m the some sort of keeper of the keys, that  I have all the answers but after what happened..”

A phantom grip on her hand..

“I’m just as lost as you, I had my  role to play in all of this. Mine was to die.  When you took that from me.

Dale flinched.

“When you decided to save me, to change my fate,  my death was  important!  I wasn’t  just  some poor  girl  that needed to be  saved! - maybe” her  words came more hesitantly  now   

 

“-maybe my  death freed me! When you took my hand that night and led me through the forest… I wish i knew I would be forever lost. Doomed to wander.”

 

“You decided for me and that  wasn’t fair.” she  shook her  head miserably, the  misery that had been rotting in the both of them  boiling to the surface .

 

The  tears she  held  back  for all these  years, all these  lifetimes  bubbled out ,  her  vision blurred as she rubbed angrily  at her  tears. Hoping  thought  she  knew it was  fruitless  that Dale  hadn’t  noticed. Slowly she  lifted  her  gaze to his and  found that a  tear  streaked face stared back at her.. His eyes shone with a  pain. Pain that was rooted in his core.

 

It was like looking in a mirror.

She was not the only one  who had lost.

Twin Peaks was not  perfect  but  for the man  across from  her that  had nothing. It was the potential  for  something  new… a  fresh start a  dream  one  day  realized.

 

He didn’t see the  rot in the city, he  saw the brightness, the potential to make it better. Always looking towards the bright side because anything else would  suffocate them.

Didn’t she know that first  hand?

And yet, she knew  despite its imperfections there were people there he had bonded with,-like Sheriff Truman, people he wanted to bring  together- like the man Albert, or the woman Diane he mumbled about in his sleep, or relationships he wanted a chance to do over with those he lost- a woman named caroline which he repeated in his nightmares.

 

He was  damaged. Just like she was; and just  like her he  fought  the  darkness the  best way he knew how even  when it started to  drown him.

She sighed he didn’t  hold any  answers  for her. In the same way  she  held none  for him..but  she could  feel  it  tugging her  closer to  him.

They needed each other. The answers they sought  were not in each other _but found together._

Slowly she held up her hand  and  was  surprised  when  he mirrored her perfectly holding her  gaze.

She smiled despite herself.

 

Slowly. She stood and moved towards him. Cautious steps till she sat beside him, his  gaze  had  strayed  back to the fire, staring deeply into it’s warm  depths.

It was suddenly dead quiet. As if the world was waiting on  their next move.holding its breath

“I’m sorry” they managed in unison.

They both blinked at  each other.

Dale cleared his throat “I-I’m sorry for what I did. I thought I could make it better, but I don’t I-I just didn't want anyone to have to have to-”

“-To go through what we did” Laura added quietly.

 

Dale nodded, he looked away.

“I thought if I could fix it, I could help the people of Twin Peaks and maybe… myself.”

 

Unbidden tears fell slowly down his cheeks as he closed his eyes .“It feels like every time I  try to make the world a better place-”

 

“-something is dragging me back down, deeper and deeper” Laura finished. She smiled  sadly  at  Dale’s stunned expression.

 

“You  may not  believe me  when  I say this but.. Because lords  knows I'm just as big as  a  fuck up a this as you are” she let out a half hearted chuckle  “ but we- you and I- we  need to learn how to forgive ourselves.”

 

Dale was silent.

 

Laura’s hand slowly moved forward and  cautiously  took Dale’s into her own. It was like trying to comfort a beaten animal. His  hand  twitched and  jumped in her grip as if  unsure if he  was worthy of her touch- as she  stroked the back of his hand gently.They hadn’t comforted each other since arriving to  Twin Peaks and  it was so obvious to her how touch starved they both were  and dying for someone to hold them to tell them even for a bit- it was going to be okay.

 

Slowly, and delicately she raised a hand to rest  gently on his cheek, he all but  melted into her touch. With the  same  gentle ease, she wiped the  silent  tears off his cheeks.

 

“We’ve shed more than enough  of these to last a lifetime  don’t you think?”

A single nod, still buried in her touch.

“Dale?”

“Mmm?” he hummed quietly against her hand.

“I forgive you” she whispered quietly as she pulled him gently into her embrace.

That night they both slept better then they had in weeks, maybe years, they were each other's shelter from the  storm.

 

Xxxx

 

Laura didn’t know where they were going. Except it didn’t matter.

“I’m going to show you something you’ve never seen before Dale had insisted.

She had laughed despite herself.

Some days are  better then others. This was one of their good days.

Here she was her hands laced in his, as she  waded into the waves, her toes  tickling the sand, the water lapping at her knees; she  glanced back and smiled. There was Dale, pant  legs rolled up , just in his dress shirt and tie as he waded in after her, returning her smile

He told her he would show her things she had never  seen before.

He was right.

She smiled gently at him as they watched the sun begin to disappear  on the horizon. They were still far  from where  they needed to,   be-  still lost but...

They needed each other.  They had come to learn that. They were stronger  together, and despite  everything they were learning to live with their pain. He loved her and she loved him, they were  each other’s  halves each other’s rocks.

They were no longer alone.

They were both worthy of love and compassion and together- her fingers tangled in his   as she said to him  something that he always  returned  earnestly

“Thank you.”

… they were home.

**Author's Note:**

> have an idea?  
> hit me up at life-on-the-geek-side at tumblr


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